True Nature
Describing the
Zen
sitting meditation of zazen in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind,
Shunryu
Suzuki said, “Our way is not to sit to acquire something; it is to
express
our true nature. That is our practice."
People meditate for many
reasons:
to relax, to improve their health, to clear their mind, to be a better
person,
because they think they should, because someone else thinks they
should,
to escape their suffering, even to endure suffering. Suzuki Roshi
suggests
that all of these reasons are beside the point. To sit zazen is to
“express
our true nature.” To sit and be, not thinking, planning, worrying,
regretting,
but to be awake and open to the moment.
In our usual level of
consciousness,
thoughts come and go, and then they come back, because we are attached
to
them through fear or desire or some other emotion. We have multiple
mental
programs running simultaneously. We may be proud of our ability to
multi-task,
but as we try to hold many tasks in mind we may lose coherence. We are
not
able to do just one thing with our whole attention. While brushing
teeth,
we are planning our day. While buttering toast, we are thinking about
last
night and anticipating what will happen tonight. While we do this
thinking,
our emotional mind responds to it. Each thought triggers a
corresponding
emotional response. Think of a ferocious bear and the fear program
runs.
Think of your first teddy bear and a more comfortable emotional
subroutine
runs. As we try to manage our many thoughts, our emotional brain
centers
are trying to sort through them to determine which emotions to run. Our
mental/emotional
processes can become most confusing and sometimes may draw us into a
cycle
of anxious thought leading to anxious feeling leading to more anxious
thought
to the point of panic or exhaustion.
In meditation, we can
decline
to participate in the runaway thinking/feeling game. We just sit. As
our
mental processes gain coherence, so do our emotions. When we sit with
intention
and sincerity, but without agenda or craving or aversion, we are free
to
express our true nature.
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©
2003-20006 Tom
Barrett