When outer conditions are difficult, it is hard, but not impossible, to be happy, because we are busy dealing with survival issues and basic needs. But sometimes all of our physical needs are met, and we are still miserable. We might even be in paradise and mistake it for hell. The sun is shining, flowers are blooming, and we are surrounded by luxury, yet it is not enough.
Misery is often a habit of mind. It can arise from beliefs that may have served us well once, but no longer do. Maybe it is a belief that we are not good enough or are not worthy of good things. Sometimes misery may persist in our recollection of past conflict or hardship. Perhaps it comes from our frustration with the general unsatisfactoriness of conditions in the world.
If you can see that your beliefs or memories are making your life miserable, you might do well to speak with a counselor to sort it all out and find new ways of thinking. Short of that, it might be possible to just let go of the misery by choosing to do it. We can make mindfulness a habit—become more conscious of our emotional state. When you notice you are unhappy, try to notice what you have been thinking. Invite yourself to release the thought or belief that is causing you distress.
Sometimes we may be unhappy and the cause is not accessible to consciousness. It is not necessary to know what is making us unhappy to become happy. We can just set our intention on relinquishing the cause of our unhappiness. When you notice yourself being miserable you can say to yourself:
“I let go of my unhappiness.Whatever the cause of my unhappiness, I release it now.”
As you do this, take a long slow breath and become more aware of your surroundings, your senses, and the state of your body. Notice the wonders around you that you have cause to be thankful for. See what happens.
© 2009-2015 Tom Barrett